Trainings
Staying Where It’s Hard
Conditions, Not Character—For Therapists and Relationships
I offer trainings for therapists and workshops for couples and individuals.
Both are grounded in the same question:
What makes it possible for people to come closer—to themselves and to each other—without forcing change?
Much of what brings people into therapy or relationship work is not a lack of insight or effort. It is the accumulation of conditions that made closeness difficult, costly, or unsafe.
These trainings focus on those conditions.
For therapists
Most therapists are trained to track emotion, meaning, and behavior.
In practice, something else often organizes the room.
Clients speak clearly, yet feel far away.
Sessions move forward, yet something essential does not shift.
Moments that appear flat, resistant, or confusing quietly shape the entire process.
My work focuses on these moments.
It draws from years of experience with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and somatic approaches—but has moved beyond any single model.
The emphasis is not on technique, but on orientation:
- how to recognize distance and presence in real time
- how to understand mistrust as an intelligent response
- how to work with collapse and non-movement without forcing activation
- how to stay with intensity without needing to control it
- how to release responsibility for outcomes and return to conditions
This is an experiential training. It is designed for therapists who want to expand how they see, and how they respond, when their existing frameworks reach their limits.
For Couples and Individuals
Relationships are often where these patterns become most visible—and most painful.
People long for closeness, yet find themselves repeating familiar cycles:
- reaching and not being met
- protecting themselves by pulling back
- trying harder, or giving up
These patterns are not failures of communication or commitment.
They are shaped by what each person has had to carry in order to stay connected in the past.
Workshops are designed to create conditions where something different can happen:
- where distance can be seen without immediately trying to close it
- where emotion can move without overwhelming the relationship
- where both partners can remain present to what has been difficult to hold
This is not skills training.
It is an opportunity to experience what becomes possible when the conditions around connection begin to change.
An Evolving Body of Work
This work has developed over many years of clinical practice, teaching, and ongoing study.
It is informed by:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Internal Family Systems (IFS)
- somatic and nervous system perspectives
- relational and experiential approaches
Earlier versions of this work were offered under the name Better Together.
What I teach now reflects a more fully articulated focus on mistrust, distance, and the conditions that allow new experience to emerge.
Stay Connected
I periodically offer conversations and written reflections for Professionals who are interested in this work.
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Upcoming Trainings
Staying Where It’s Hard–Chico Hot Springs, Pray, MT, October 26-30, 2026
A four-day experiential training for therapists
This training explores how change occurs through conditions rather than technique.
Designed for therapists trained in EFT, IFS, or other relational models, it focuses on working with mistrust, distance, and non-movement—while supporting the emergence of aliveness, play, and relational depth.