“Rather than debate their similarities and differences, consider what can happen when we bring Self Energy and secure attachment to ourselves and our clients.”
Emotionally Focused Therapy and Internal Family Systems work brilliantly together, even though they may seem very different on the surface. One hurdle therapists face when they want to integrate these models is their different terminologies. This quick guide is designed to help you bring them together.
Pursuer and Withdrawer Moves in EFT are known as Polarized, Protective Parts in IFS. Protective Parts are beings with hopes and fears who experience the whole range of human emotions. In IFS, protective parts or Protectors keep Exiles (vulnerable parts that hold the original traumatic material) safe. EFT distinguishes between Secondary emotions, which are the emotions of the Protectors, and Primary emotions, which are the emotions of the Exiles.
In IFS, we always work with the protective parts until they feel safe to allow access to the underlying exiles. This is the same as in EFT, where we work to organize and appreciate the client’s protective moves (Stage 1) before accessing deeper, more vulnerable material (Stage 2). IFS’s maxims, “The block is the path” and “always get the permission of the protectors,” are the same as EFT’s, “Stay with the secondary emotions. They are the road to primary emotion.” “Stay attuned to your client, stay with them, moment to moment” in EFT is the same as “Be a good parts detector” in IFS.
IFS is famous for its U-Turn—when there’s a trigger on the outside, look to see what’s happening inside. This is precisely what EFT therapists do when saying, “Let’s slow this down. Right before you…. What’s happening inside?”
When EFT therapists use RISSSC (repeat, imagery, slow, soft, simple, client words), they are befriending the parts in a more maternal style than the IFS way of asking questions of the parts with calm and compassionate curiosity.Both models demand a lot of therapists. It takes an enormous presence to be nimble, open, and attuned to moment-to-moment shifts in the client’s experience. To fully embrace these models, therapists generally must be willing to do more of their own personal work and engage in extended supervision.
Finally, what about the magic sauce that makes experiential therapy so powerful? In IFS, it’s Self Energy; in EFT, it’s a secure attachment between the therapist and the client. Rather than debate their similarities and differences, consider what can happen when we bring Self Energy and secure attachment to ourselves and our clients.
Photo by Tim Bogdanov on Unsplash
